I've been trying to put together my thoughts about Seth, but it's hard to put into words what I witnessed during my visit. How do you describe to someone such a dramatic change in a person? I don't think you can. First, you have to have seen the old version and then you have to witness, for yourself, the new version. Back in November of 2016 I met Seth for the first time when we visited you to celebrate Jim's birthday. Seth was ill-at-ease, very uncomfortable being around peo

When Someone You Love Is Struggling: Co-Regulation, Self-Regulation, and Knowing the Difference When someone we love is struggling, our nervous system feels it too. Their pain ripples through us. We want to fix it, stop it, ease it, rescue them from it. That impulse is human. It comes from love. And yet, it is often where things get tangled. Co-regulation is not about solving someone’s life. It is about becoming a steady presence while they move through their own. And co-regu

Many people who arrive in my work are not broken. They are capable, responsible, perceptive, and often deeply caring. They know how to hold things together. They know how to show up. They know how to keep going. And often, they don’t name what has quietly been true for a long time: High performance and perfectionism are not personality traits. They are protective strategies shaped by the nervous system. At some point—often early—your system learned that being competent, relia