When High Performance Is the Guardian at the Gate

Many people who arrive in my work are not broken. They are capable, responsible, perceptive, and often deeply caring.

They know how to hold things together. They know how to show up. They know how to keep going.

And often, they don’t name what has quietly been true for a long time:

High performance and perfectionism are not personality traits. They are protective strategies shaped by the nervous system.

At some point—often early—your system learned that being competent, reliable, or “getting it right” reduced risk. It helped you stay connected. It helped you avoid conflict, scarcity, or harm. It helped you survive.

From a nervous system perspective, this was not a mistake. It was intelligence.

In mythic language, this part of you is the guardian—the one who learned to stand watch so more tender, creative, or vulnerable parts of you didn’t have to be exposed before it was safe.

The challenge isn’t the guardian. The challenge comes when the guardian never learns that the world has changed.

Many people reach a quiet edge where the old strategies no longer bring ease: • Rest feels uncomfortable instead of restoring • Slowing down feels risky instead of relieving • Growth feels threatening rather than expansive

This isn’t resistance or self-sabotage. It’s protection doing its job faithfully—sometimes long after it’s needed.

True growth doesn’t ask you to perform better. It asks for capacity—the ability to stay present without armor, to tolerate uncertainty without control, to rest without earning it.

In the old stories, the hero doesn’t destroy the guardian at the gate. They meet it. Listen to it. Thank it.

Only then does the gate begin to open.

For now, there is nothing to fix or change. Just a gentle noticing:

Where in my life is high performance still protecting me? What has it helped me survive?

— Laurie